Some people think that suicide is for attention. But why would someone need attention by trying to take their own life. It doesn’t make sense. And there are those people out there. There are some people that I just can’t stand that do those kinds of thing for attention. I can’t stand that and when girls get pregnant on purpose just to keep a guy. Those are my two things. Please don’t do those. This can be my disclaimer, or whatever. Please don’t be one of those people.

Earlier in the day my two best friends and I were driving around, I, in the backseat. “Have you guys ever thought about what you’d give away if something happened to you?” I thought I was being so suave. Yeah right.  As I look back we all realize I gave the tell tale signs. I was going to give my car to my best friend, who was in the front seat, to her brother. That’s really all I had to give away at that time. Shit, I think that still may be the case today. Either way, I had no idea that this was routine behavior for people thinking about suicide.

We were all partying that night and playing a game called, Catch Phrase, where this remote thing gives you a word and you have to describe the word without saying it until someone guess the correct answer. Ironically, it’s the first time I’ve had real fun in a long time. Real fun as in, something distracted me enough to forget about the depression for just a little bit. That never happens. It didn’t make me forget however, that this was to be my final day, I’d been planning on it being today for some time I just didn’t know how until we got to the place she was house sitting.

Both of them didn’t know what they’d give away if they passed. I felt a little uncomfortable that I’d had it down to the songs I wanted played and even pictures I wanted to hand out. Doesn’t everyone at least think about their own death just a little? Hmmm, I thought, weird.